Monday, April 22, 2013

Join the Movement

I am a whole-hearted supporter of being more open about infertility and am excited about the relatively new national awareness week for it. There's this vibe out there that women and men struggling with infertility should be ashamed or embarrassed, or that their trial is not as important as others and therefore shouldn't be talked about. I also think that there is a hesitation to talk about it, like there's this taboo undercurrent because you can't talk about infertility without talking about how babies are made in the first place--shoot, I didn't want to tell our parents for a while because I didn't want them to have to think about their babies...well, you know.

But ya know what?
There's nothing wrong with experiencing infertility or talking about infertility.

Blogging about our own story has been difficult. Its difficult to put yourself out there and be so open about something so personal, and for us, has very sacred and spiritual elements. Its difficult to receive nasty feedback on rare occasions. Its difficult to accept that some people we care about think we are wasting our time or making ourselves upset for no reason. Its difficult to acknowledge my short comings as I try to come to terms with what's actually happening.

But its also been very rewarding. It feels great to see some of our friends open up to us and share their similar struggles, admitting that they too were afraid to talk about it, but that our openness has helped them to talk about it more or seek the help they need. It feels great when others reach out to us and explain that reading this blog has helped them more fully understand infertility and how they can better interact with and support their friends or family members who also are dealing with infertility. It feels great to become a little bit kinder towards myself, to appreciate that I'm only human, that infertility doesn't make me broken or a freak, and that its ok to not walk around with a smile every waking moment.

Talking about infertility---whether through an intimate conversation, blogging, support groups, or posting on social media---is hard sometimes, but its important, and can make a world of difference to others and to yourself.

I've been thinking lately that I don't know how this is all going to end, what will happen if we do eventually conceive, and how and when we will share that. To be honest, I'm not entirely sure what to do. I don't have a plan, because none of this was part of my plan. The open-ended-ness is in a way a reflection of the experience itself---there is no neatly packaged ending in sight. 

But for now, I'm grateful for the opportunity to, like many others, be a voice and share my own experience with infertility. In my own small way I am contributing to the movement to be more open, compassionate, and educated. 


  1. Great post! And I love your graphic. You're so creative.

  2. So excited to start following your blog. Dealing with infertility AND being LDS can be a heavy load to carry. I found you through Bloggers Unite. I've found once I started sharing our struggles more and more people starting sharing theirs with me. Most of the time privately through an e-mail or text message, people that I see at church or at work. They are scared to speak out, but want to SHARE so they share with me b/c I do speak out and that is OK. It is a hard thing to go through, we all have to stick together.

    1. So happy to have you, Whitney! I'm glad you've had the same experience of having others share with you and strengthening each other. You're right, we do have to stick together! It makes it so much easier when you have friends (whether you know them in person or not) who go through it with you.

  3. Open, compassionate and educated...what excellent goals for all of us - fertiles and infertiles. Thank you so much for this post. You summed it all up so simply and beautifully. It takes courage to put yourself out there. I'm proud to be able to stand alongside brave women like you and fight infertility and the stigmas that come along with it. (Also, I just love your blog in general - the name and the design is so smart and cool.)


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