Pregnancy + Infant Loss Remembrance Day.

This morning Curran got to "meet" his older brother.

I'm so glad he'll always have this bear to snuggle and play with and love.

I've really been missing Baby M lately. I wonder what our family would be like with him here, what he'd be exploring and learning, what little quirks he'd have. He'd be one this New Years Eve. 

Its been almost a year and a half since we lost little Baby M, and now we have our sweet, spunky Curran in our arms. But we'll always love, miss, and remember our first baby boy.

Since Mothers Day 2013 when we lost him, I've had several friends go through pregnancy and infant loss as well. I think of them today too. Some have become pregnant again, some have not. No matter our individual stories, no matter if we have children on this earth right now, we're all mothers and fathers to babies, to angels. 

I'll be lighting a candle at 7pm to remember Baby M and to show my love for all those families who hold babies in their hearts but not in their arms. It will join the wave of light that will reach across the world as thousands of families like ours, as well as the friends and loved ones that support them, light candles in honor of their angels. 

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Mommy, Daddy, and your little brother, Curran love you so much, sweet babe. 

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If you'd like a very special way to remember your angel baby, please consider donating to The Littlest Feet, a project created by my friend, Brittany, to remember her darling Abby.

Museum Day Live! at the Seattle Art Museum.

A couple weeks ago Smithsonian magazine was hosting Museum Day Live!, a day during which many museums across the country offer free admission. The Seattle Art Museum was participating so we decided last minute to hop on a ferry and head to Seattle for a free museum day. Considering how much it costs with the ferry to get there, its nice to save forty bucks on admission prices! And it was nice to do something we liked to do as a couple before Curran came along, plus we got a chance to get the little bub started early with a love of art.

 After the art museum we went by Pike Place Market to grab some greek yogurt (so, so good!) and cannolis.

WARNING!

Whatever the bakery in the market is selling as a cannoli, is in fact not a cannoli. Its a fraud! We had gotten our cannolis, hopped on the ferry back home, got Curran in bed, and finally sat down to enjoy our treat. But disappointment was swift and our purchase a waste. They were essentially shells filled with buttercream frosting. They advertised their cannolis as having a cream cheese filling--which, first of all, cannolis aren't made with cream cheese (that red flag should've stopped us right there). But then, it wasn't even cream cheese filling. It was like they scraped the creme off of oreos and piped it into cannoli shells. So, so disappointing. 

If it sounds like I'm being a little dramatic…well, fair enough. But you guys, they were a disaster. We spent the rest of the night day dreaming about our delicious cannolis from Maria's in Boston last summer and wishing we could get our paws on just one little crumb of those tasty beauties. 

But ahhh, I dream.

Cannoli impostors aside, we had a great time in Seattle on a beautiful day. Sometimes its hard to want to get out and do things with a baby, having to factor in his naps and diaper changes and meals and packing everything he needs and is a stroller better or should I just use the carrier and what if he just cries the whole time and and and……and sometimes you just have to forget about all that stuff and just get out there.

In other news, we're really loving it up here in Washington. We love our little house, the people are so friendly, our ward is hands down the best we've ever been in, we're exploring things we've never thought to before, and my favorite part: we actually get to experience fall for the first time since we moved from Virginia two years ago.

Life has its ups and downs but we are really, really happy here.

Happy Three Months to Curran!

This handsome guy's three month birthday was yesterday!

Curran is a fun kid these days. He's a big talker and very alert and attentive. He's super strong and loves to show off to everyone at church. He's been teething for the past couple weeks so that has made for some tough days, but overall he's a very easy going, happy baby. And he's plumping up! Three months old and he's just about ready to graduate from his newborn clothes and move up to 0-3 month ones. He's pretty content to hang out in a ring sling or woven wrap, but you can tell he's definitely ready to start movin' and groovin' more and more. He's thissssclose to rolling over on to his tummy---he's going to be on the move in the blink of an eye, I just know it!

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And here are some of our favorite photos of the little bub from the past couple months!

They're nothing spectacular and half of them haven't been edited in any way, but I'm kinda learning that sometimes its not about fixing every little detail and making things perfect, but just enjoying what you've got and embracing things the way they are.

So here ya go!

Curran's Blessing.

Here's another update from June!

Curran was blessed on Father's Day last month, making for one special holiday for Joey. Being the first father in either of our families to be able to bless his own child, it meant a lot to both of us that he could give Curran his baby blessing. My mom and sister, Amy, were visiting that week and we were so glad they could be there for it as well. 

Curran's bow tie is made of lace from my wedding gown. When I was picking out my dress (three years ago next month--wow!) I knew I would want to incorporate it somehow in the blessing outfits for our future children. Luckily I had enough extra lace from the alterations that I didn't have to cut up the actual dress!

Curran was also wrapped in the Shetland Shawl we received from my grandma for our wedding. Shetland Shawls are also known as wedding ring shawls because they're knit so finely that they can be pulled through a wedding ring, and the tradition is to wear it at your wedding and then wrap your future babies in it for their christening (or in our case, blessing).

I remember when we received it I was so excited to get to use it later for our babies. In fact, whenever we left our home for vacations or extended periods of time, it was one of the few keepsakes that I made sure there was room for in our fireproof safe. Finally getting to pull it out and wrap Curran in it was such a happy moment for me. 

The little guy used to have a thing about latching on to noses if you put him near your face. He would also try to do it to Joey's cheek (but never mine) when he would burp him. In this instance, it kept him calm just long enough to take a few photos together. 

We love you, Curran Joseph!