154 Days Down: Baby Update.

Hello 22 weeks! It feels great to have surpassed the half way point--its actually going quite fast! Here's how things are going these days---

In case you missed it, we're having a BOY! It was a little surreal at first because we truly felt it was a girl. And to confess, all my life I just pictured myself having a big bunch of girls that I could sew heaps of dresses and bows for. But after some serious googling and getting those creative juices flowing, I've got a substantial list of fun projects for our handsome little man.

And speaking of those projects---I've had a sudden burst of motivation and energy so I've been riding that high and getting as much done as I can before it goes away. In the past week I've sewn two quilts, a handful of leggings, two ring slings, and a couple dozen bandana bibs, and Joey and I thrifted and refinished a dresser for the little bean. Its all working out quite well really--we'll be moving when I'm in the third trimester, which means my last couple months will be focused on resettling and acclimating to a new city, and who knows if Joey will be deploying soon after we move….so basically the next couple months are all I have to really get things done. Good thing I'm feeling so motivated!

The migraines are still going strong but have decreased to about 2-3 a week, so that's good at least!

I lucked out with morning sickness and never really had any vomiting in the first trimester (just really bad nausea), however now the problem is, if I don't eat soon enough when my stomach starts to growl, I end up getting sick! Its frustrating at times when I don't have an appetite (which is more often than not), but it sure is a firm reminder that I need to keep up with snacks and meals. I still have major food aversions, but the past couple weeks I've been craving the chocolate-iest chocolate I can get my hands on.

But despite the constant aches and pains (if its not one thing, its something else!) I'm loving this experience.  We count our blessings and are grateful that so far we haven't had any serious complications or concerns. Everything is going just the way it should and we're very grateful.

Baby has been a groovin' and kickin' a lot more these days. The first time I felt him last month it was just like a little tickle or brush by, but these are full on movements! The first time it happened I freaked out for a second and thought 'Ahh! There's an alien in there!' and then I remembered, oh yeah, they're supposed to do that. Ha and now feeling those little kicks and flips is so addicting, I love it. 

Well, this is the middle of our work week, but I hope everyone else has a great weekend!

What's Better than a Dog in a Sweater.

Just something quick and fun for ya on this fine Monday!

Last month my mom knit up this cute sweater for Remy, and sometimes its actually cold enough in the mornings down here to dress her up for her walk! The little pup actually likes it and hops around with excitement when she sees me pull it off the shelf.

And oh sweet mercy, there is nothing cuter than watching Remy go bananas and sprint to Joey when she sees him. Love these two!

I hope everyone's 2014 is off to a great start!

The Little Bean is A…...

The results are in!

This morning we had our anatomy scan and found out that we are having a………………..

BOY

[!!!!!!!!!!]

We are completely in shock! As many of you know, we were absolutely confident that we were having a girl, for many reasons. No matter how hard we tried to be open to the reality that it really could go either way, we felt like the baby just was a girl and all we could see in our minds was a girl. 

Last night as we got ready for bed and talked about how nervous we were to see if our inklings were correct, I told Joey "Ya know what? Its gonna be a boy. I just know it. Because nothing in life has ever gone the way I think it will, so of course its going to be the opposite of what we think!"

So when we had our ultrasound and saw his….manhood (which he proudly displayed for us), all we could do was laugh--shoot, we're still laughing every time we remember, "son of a gun, we're having a boy!". Surprised as we were, we are so, so excited and happy. Its crazy to actually know what our baby is---its not just little baby, its little baby boy. And more importantly, baby is doing great, developing just the way he should all the way down to his ten itty bitty toes.

See you in 20 weeks, little man!

Remembering Our Angel Baby.

Today is a special, tender day for us. 

Today is the day we were supposed to have our first baby. 

I knew I couldn't forget it, but I never would've guessed just how…ok, everything would feel.

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Since our miscarriage in May, Joey and I tried to think of a nice way to honor and remember the baby that we lost. We were never given an ultrasound picture; all we have of our babe is the pregnancy test that now sits at the bottom of a little drawer in our bedroom. We wanted a simple reminder that he is still part of our family, especially now that we are pregnant again with our rainbow baby.

I thought about making some sort of print to frame or something, but I knew I wanted a memento that would really be part of our family, not just something that would hang on the wall, separate and alone from us. So when we went to Myrtle Beach at the beginning of December, we headed to Build-A-Bear to make a special bear to celebrate our baby.

Before placing the tiny, red, satin heart in our little bear we wrote his name on it. He may not have been with us for very long, but that was still our baby, and 'officially' giving him his name brought us a lot of peace. 

I suppose I underestimated my ability (or inability, rather) to remain cool and composed, because while we waited for our turn to stuff our bear, the tears just started flowing. I looked at Joey and was comforted knowing he was crying too. The woman who helped us make our bear noticed we were quite emotional and after hearing our story, was very sweet, kind, and sympathetic to our tender hearts.

Our little bear is now sitting quietly with the rest of the baby things we have slowly started to collect for our future arrival. I don't know if/when/how we would tell our baby about their angel sibling, but for now, our little one will cuddle this bear and will always have their big brother with them. 

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Early this morning I sat at our dining table while Joey finished his breakfast before leaving for work, and I thought about how in the previous months, I assumed today would be a painful, sad day. I assumed it would be a day that I would want to avoid completely. But as I sat there I realized that, more than anything, I feel peace. I feel peace knowing that because Joey and I were sealed, our baby is sealed to us too. He is and will always be part of our family. I feel peace knowing that no matter what anyone else thinks or what they think is or isn't a child, to us he will always be our child, and that he's safe, he's not alone, and he's ok. 

That everything is ok. 

Our second baby is due exactly five months from now. And while it doesn't make us forget the pain that we have felt and the loss we have gone through (and even though being pregnant after miscarrying is a nerve-racking, sometimes scary experience), this rainbow baby brings us so much happiness and even more peace. 

When this baby is born, we will be a family of four, and I love that.